Ashley Moe of sleepyfawn is my first blogger of the month and I couldn’t be more excited! I decided to feature her first for a few reasons. Her and I go way back to the days of Myspace and communicated regularly through comments, picture comments and whatnot. We became good friends and when she got married, I remember the pictures she posted and the words she wrote about her new husband and their story made my heart so happy and hopeful that I could one day find a love that sounds as genuine and real as theirs. Years later, we’re still friends and at a point were pen pals. (which once me and Jimmy move to AK we plan to start up again!) We wrote letters back and forth from Southern California (me) to Minneapolis (her). we wrote about our marriages, our husbands, the feedback we have gotten about marrying at our age, and how we hoped for one day the four of us would hang out, whether it’s California or Minneapolis! That day hasn’t come yet, but I’m still holding out hope! When I decided to interview bloggers about their marriages, she was the first girl that came to my mind because not only is her marriage inspiring, but she has an awesome story to tell. She’s strong, confident, and speaks out about her marriage and the values her and her husband share, and has some amazing advice to share with us! Anyway, I’ll stop talking now and introduce to you to my dear friend Ashley.
How would you describe yourself in a few sentences?
I’m twenty-two, going to art school in Minneapolis with my sweet husband. I love people, and I love making things.
Your marriage seems so wonderful and inspiring to young girls everywhere. How did you and your husband Kyle meet, and how long were you dating before you got engaged and married?
This is a long story. Kyle and I have kind of an awkward story to tell, as it’s not that fascinating but still sort of strange. My best friend at the time and I had been myspace friends with Kyle’s best friend, Corbin. We aim chatted with him and all that stuff, and my friend and him started to like each other in a little crush sort of way. Well, conveniently, Kyle and Corbin were coming to Kansas City (where I’m from), from their town in South Dakota, to go to a christian conference. So of course we had to meet up! Corbin and my friend didn’t end up liking each other, but I thought Kyle was so handsome and charming. The day they left to go home, Kyle sent me a text (oh technology!) saying that he had a crush on me. Yay!
We started talking on the phone lots and lots, and the next week, him and his dad flew back to KC to check out an internship. There was a huge snow storm so he had to take a taxi to me and could only stay for an hour, but after that we realized that we had already fallen in love. About a week later, we started talking about marriage! We just knew it was meant to be.
We dated long distance pretty much the entire time before we got married. He stayed at my parents’ house for 2 months while he was doing an internship, but we were apart more than together. We met in December, he proposed in August, and we got married the following January, almost exactly a year after meeting.
Younger couples who marry tend to get judged for it. Have you had to deal with negative feedback on getting married at your age? If so, how did you deal with it?
We did have lots of negative responses. Kyle’s family was very supportive, but mine was very concerned at first. We were 18 when he proposed, and my mom didn’t want “lose” me so quickly. My parents later became supportive when they realized how wonderful Kyle is. Only a few of my friends were supportive and excited for me, and others, including my very best friend at the time, treated me like I was insane. I understand their concern, but it was really hard feeling like I was abandoning them for Kyle. People still react strangely when they find out I’m married. Guys treat me totally different, and I think most girls think I can’t hang out with them because I’m busy being married. That still bothers me a bit, but we’ve been married 3 years now and I wouldn’t change anything.
Are there any additional reasons you got married young? How did you know the timing was right?
We got married when we did because there was no reason to wait until the acceptable age of later 20’s or 30’s. Also, we didn’t want to live together before marriage, and were both planning on going to MCAD. We also both felt that it was God’s plan for us, and we spent a lot of time praying about our relationship. We just felt that the time was right!
As a full time student, how do you juggle school, work, and all the busy-ness life brings you to spend time with one another? Do you have any days you set aside or weekly traditions that you and him do? If so, what are they?
Being busy is the hardest part of our lives right now! We both go to school full time, Kyle works full time, I work part time…making time to be together is really difficult. We don’t have a certain day or time to be together, because our schedules are conflicting and totally random. It sometimes bothers me that I don’t get to spend much time with him, but we both support each others endeavors and realized this is just a small time of our lives together. Spring break is next week though, so we’ll be catching up on loads of missed quality time!
List 5 things you love about your husband, and 5 things that drive you crazy about him!
Things I love: he’s handsome, he’s charming, he’s a super hard worker, he loves the Lord, and he’s incredibly funny.
Things that drive me crazy: he always ends up hurting me somehow (physically, not emotionally haha) because he doesn’t realize his strength, he buys loads of books that we can’t fit in the apartment, he talks to me early in the morning while I’m trying to sleep, he’s more productive that I am, and he has smelly shoes!
Tell us about your first date with Kyle.
We didn’t really have an official first date, because of the distance. When he visited me over spring break, I suppose our first date was going to a movie, which of course was Zodiak, a super creepy one. We hadn’t had a first kiss yet, but he kissed my hand in the theatre and I thought it was so sweet. I had tons of butterflies that night.
What are some of the most common misconceptions you’ve heard about young marriages?
The statistics are horribly against us, so I’m sure most people who don’t know us would assume we’ll get divorced. People also randomly decide that we made a bad decision that we’ll regret later, which I know isn’t true.
Did your faith play a role in your deciding to marry?
Yes! We both believed it was in God’s plan for us. We wanted/want to have a biblical marriage, so that’s why we didn’t do certain things like live together before our wedding. We both feel that marriage is a great blessing from God, and we strive to follow biblical principles on how to be a good wife and husband.
You and Kyle are obviously a very fashionable bunch, so tell us…do you two help each other shop? Pick out each others outfits? Do you wear any of his clothes?
haha well thank you! We go shopping with each other, but often split up in stores instead of following each other around. Kyle gets really agitated when he has to follow me shopping, but I like his help and opinions.
I help him with outfits, but every time I want him to pick out mine, he insists I won’t like it. I don’t often wear his clothes unless I’m just lounging around– I don’t think I pull off the menswear look very well, like you do!
I also love your artwork and photography! Is Kyle artistic as well? What are some ways you use your art to include Kyle in?
Thank you so much! Kyle goes to the same school as I do, the Minneapolis College of Art and Design. He’s studying film making there, but outside of film he’s also a really great illustrator and painter. I keep telling him he needs a website, but he’s so busy with school that he hasn’t had the time. We help each other with assignments, critique each others work, and support each others sometimes failing ideas. We’re currently planning a performance called We are not Two, we are One that explores our experience leaving our separate lives and becoming one in marriage.
Where do you and Kyle see yourself in 5 years? How about 10 years?
In five years, we’ll both be totally done with school and hopefully be well into our practice as working artists. I’m not sure where we’ll be living, but I’m begging for some place warmer! We plan to study abroad in a couple of years, so I could see ourselves in a nice Scandinavian home, collaborating on projects. I’m also hoping we’ll have a baby by then!
It’s hard to imagine where we’ll be in ten years. All I know is we’ll be making things together, and will hopefully have a little family by then. I don’t mind where we are, as long as we have time together and can do what we love.
What was your first impression of Kyle? What was his first impression of you?
When I first met Kyle, I thought he was very classy and cool. He was wearing a blazer and a tie, I think, and brought me the coolest gift—a 3D camera and flower finding book. He definitely wooed me at first sight.
He says that when he first met me, he thought I was like a fairy and he knew he had to catch me haha.
What is your most significiant and vivid memory of your wedding day?
Oh gosh, I really don’t have a vivid memory of our wedding! It was very short, and it’s all sort of a blur now. I remember certain things like it being very cold, having huckleberry ice cream, and my tights being way too short for my legs. I can imagine our wedding vows and kiss, but I don’t truly remember them happening.
Lastly, would you mind leaving us with some tips for those young ladies out there who are engaged or thinking of marrying?
I would just say that if you’re absolutely certain in your heart that it’s the one, then don’t hesitate! If you have concerns, aren’t on the same moral track as your boy/girl, or aren’t capable of serious commitment, then don’t get married yet. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s wrong, but be the judge of it yourselves. Marriage takes loads of work and sacrifice, but if you love each other above all, it’ll be worth it.
They are so wonderful together, I can’t get over it! Thanks so much, Ashley!
Ashley’s blog, flickr, and website with her work:
sleepyfawn
flickr
website
**Due to the fact that Jimmy and I will be moving into a new home next month, I may put my next blogger of the month off until May, but please stay tuned! I had so much fun doing this!**
-Jen
